a hunting we will go....
this is how i left the sofa  after my nightly hooking therapy
fell into bed..
then the hunter came out..
kits does this every night..
she goes quietly and stealthily...
hunting...
and then pounces
and kills a ball of wool  or two..
maybe if she's extremely lucky....a granny square..
tail an all..
bless xx

almost there

or are we there yet?

i just had to block this jewel to 'see if it felt finished'

hmnn i am not sure ..

do i go on to make it b..i..g..g..e..r...?

as i usually do ...i ponder ...

i just don't know..

am i there yet ????

i am back hooking ..

i never really stopped...just didn't blog about it..

i thought i would reaquaint myself with some old woolly friends from my stash..

in my world a true granny is all about colors..

using all colors in a zillion different ways..

each one a surprise ..the uglies next to the lovelies...

each square a little mandala...

healing as i hook..

reconnecting with hooky memories..

so no more hiding in the stash my lovelies...out you come ...

now where is that red... you know the one ...not tomatoe or fire engine...or blood..

the pinky cherry red..

oh there you are..

loverly....xxxxx

Foetal positition

I am still in the foetal positition....you know the positition the experts say is a protective stance

I am slowly ...slowly unfurling

I still am finding that I have a really low

(actually zero) tolerance level..

By that I mean ...people that say " i

want to pick your brains"

I think since I became the different person that I now seem to be

I am constantly meeting needy and totally overinduged women

The constants in my life now mean more to me than ever

My family

My grandchildren

My true friends

I keep asking for guidance

It hasn't come yet

Maybe it's not time

So this post is being typed on my iPhone

As I sit looking out on the Indian ocean

You may ask why am I sitting here. Doing this

Hell , I don't know .

What I am thinking is "how the hell did I get here"?

testing testing 123....

healing

it came in september
the inevitable
my brother fell asleep and the angels danced
he was gone
it has been so hard ...and final...
but i promised paul that i would not be sad ..[so hard]
he would not have wanted me that way..this i do know..
there were five rainbows on the day of the funeral and i know he was busy painting the sky..
every time i see one from now on..i will have my chat with him..
healing time now ..as i come out of the grieving labrynth..i do feel strangely different..not bad or awful but i am seeing things in a whole new light...a cleansing.
my lethargy is subsiding and i feel new and creative things stirring..
the summer is almost upon us and the sun is a welcome warmth that penetrates the bones..ahh lovely..
i want to grow things ..i am doing..
i want to watch things happen slowly..i am
i am going to enjoy..i will
i want to love..i am already there
i am not wealthy..i am rich
i can breathe ..i am lucky

the beast

the beast
i haveto excorcise my thoughts
and there is no better way than writing them down..or so they say..
the beast knows no boundaries
it lurks
it destroys
it has no eyes ..no mouth..no ears
it has a deep blackest of black heart
the beast attacks the young,the healthy,the newborn and the infirm
the beast lulls you into a sense of security..thinking that you have tamed it..
then the beast rises and consumes with the most ferociuos speed that you can't catch your breath..
it wins ..the beast claims another ..mother ..brother..husband..child..friend..the list is endless
the beast knows that it will die with its host..but it doesn't stop it..
the beast will always win...in the end...
yes there are miracles.
not in my world
the beast always wins..
in my world
i have the scars to prove it
they are of course invisible to the human eye ..but they are there..
i am not even going to give the beast its real name ..it doesn't deserve it
it deserves nothing
i am calming now as i write
i am processing
i am still waiting for the imminent death of the beast
it will be soon
then my wonderful beautiful life loving brother will be gone....